Calm My Anxious Heart: a woman's guide to finding contentment

Alison Taylor | August 2013 - Highfields Book of the Month

By Linda Dillow - (2007) Colorado Springs: NavPress

Reading the subtitle 'A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment' might make you think this is another self-help type book with a Christian slant which as someone who is more than a little cynical about self-help books would make me put it straight down and forget all about it.  But having been recommended it by 2 Highfields friends I decided to give it a go and since then have ended up recommending it to others!

I'm normally quite a laid-back person but there are times in certain situations when fear and worry take over me and I struggle to trust God.  I thought that generally I was quite a content person but as I read the first chapter on that topic I was challenged as I realised I wasn't always content if you define it as 'accepting God's sovereign control over all of life’s circumstances' (p. 18). 

The illustrations and examples in the next few chapters show how a lack of contentment in different circumstances and situations can cause us to worry and fear and how we therefore need to address the heart of the problem – trusting in God.  For me the two most helpful chapters came later on in the book ('Worry is like a Rocking Chair' and 'Trusting God with the What Ifs') and quotes like 'Worry is like a rocking chair; it will give you something to do but it won't get you anywhere' and 'All our fret and worry are caused by calculating without God' (p.123) have stayed in my mind. 

The distinction Dillow draws out between quiet tension (i.e. keeping your worries to yourself) and trust was especially challenging.  As she clearly points out we are commanded by Christ not to worry (Matt.6) but how do we do that in practice?  You’ll have to read the chapter to find her answer.   Some of her ideas might not appeal (I don't think I’m a kinaesthetic learner so the idea of an anxiety box for example does not appeal) though the theory behind them does.  At the end of most chapters she finishes with real-life examples from women in communist eastern Europe and China which do a great job of putting our own struggles into perspective!

My only real complaint about the book is why on earth Linda Dillow thinks it's only for women?!  I'm sure we’re not the only ones who struggle to trust God with the 'What ifs' and 'If Onlys' of life so I challenge any man to pick up the (pink) book and give it a go!  But I think, as a generalisation, we do as women struggle with anxiety so if you want to try to win that struggle in God's strength by identifying and changing what's at the heart of the problem then read this book!