True Friendship

Alison Bolton | March 2016 - Highfields Book of the Month

By Vaughan Roberts - (2013) Leyland: 10Publishing

I'm always surprised how few Christian books there are out there on the topic of friendship. If you do a quick search on any Christian publisher's website you will get pages and pages of books focusing on the marriage relationship, and yet when I typed in 'friendship' to one website, this was the only book on the topic that came up. That's strange don't you think, considering that marriage is something that not everyone experiences, but every one of us has friendships to navigate? It's a huge topic, one that is not often talked about enough, and it is dealt with brilliantly and succinctly in this little book, 'True Friendship' by Vaughan Roberts.

start by asking how we ourselves can be a better friend to those around us

The book is really short and readable, it is divided into six chapters focusing in turn on six biblical qualities of friendship all beginning with 'C' – True Friendship is Crucial (we need friends), Close (quality, not quantity), Constant (friendships must be maintained and strengthened over time), Candid (speaking the truth in love), Careful (careful in speech, and in knowing boundaries) and Christ-centred (only Christ can satisfy our deepest longings).

For me, one of the highlights of the book was the way he encouraged us to be intentional in strengthening friendships. Meaningful friendships do not just happen, we have to put in hard work and effort. And if, after honest reflection, we realise that we don't have any close friends, we need to start by asking how we ourselves can be a better friend to those around us, not by pointing the finger at others - “the way to have good friends is to be a good friend. Instead of lamenting that no-one invites us for a meal, that our church is so unfriendly and that everyone relates at such a superficial level, let us take the initiative to open our homes and lives and see what happens.”

see Christ more and more as your true friend, whose friendship is the foundation for all other friendships

The only negative thing about this book is also one of its positives – that it is so short! At the end of each chapter I found myself wanting to read more!

So why read this book? To enrich your friendships; to see Christ more and more as your true friend, whose friendship is the foundation for all other friendships; and to help you to be a better friend. I actually read this book with a friend and the book lends itself well to that – there are questions for reflection/discussion at the end of each chapter to aid conversation.

This is a wonderful book, and it is such a crucial topic. You won't regret reading it, and it won't take long. Why not pick it up from the church bookstall next time you're there (and maybe even buy two copies, give one to a friend and read it together)?!  Go on, give it a go!